


Islands

by yourpricelessadvice (orphan_account)



Series: Lovehearts [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Genderswap, Girl Direction, Lesbian Character, Long-Distance Relationship, POV Louis, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/yourpricelessadvice
Summary: The one immediately after Harry leaves.





	Islands

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie, and my take is that much like the phrase ‘no man is an island’, Louis is currently feeling very bereft at the departure not just of Harry but all of her friends. She’s feeling alone and isolated in these very early days.
> 
> Lottie’s equivalent features here, and I’ve named him Luke - points to me for creativity!

_“The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more. The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row, it seems farther than ever before, oh no. I need you so much closer…”_

**Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism**

  


 

Louis watches the van pull away. The brake lights illuminate as they reach the end of the street, glowing red in the distance and taunting Louis. Des and Anne and Harry turn left with a flashing beacon of amber and then they’re gone from sight.

Harry’s gone now.

Louis feels numb.

She turns around and there’s her mum, standing with her arms folded across her body, a pained expression on her face as she cups her chin in her hand. “Oh love,” Louis hears her mum say as she staggers towards her and falls into her arms.

Louis’d thought she’d cried herself dry but here they come again. She’s powerless to stop it now as she stands shaking in her the arms of her mum in the middle of Harry’s front garden. It all looks the same; Anne’s car is still on the driveway, the curtains up at the windows hang as they always have, the pot plants by the front door sit as they always have. But it’s not the same anymore. Not at all.

“Come on, love, let’s go home.” Jay whispers softly, cradling the back of her head and then prompting Louis out of her arms.

 

♀♀

 

Her mum lets her go straight up stairs to her bedroom when they get home. Most of her brothers give her a wide berth, only the oldest one fully understanding why his big sister is so upset.  

“Hi Lou,” He murmurs after knocking softly and letting himself in. Louis lifts her head off her pillow, gazing over at him bleary eyed.

“Hi, peanut,” She smiles sadly.

“Are you all right?” Luke asks carefully. He sits down on the very edge of the bed, staring at Louis like she’s made of glass and about to fall off a ledge. “Do you miss Harry?”

Louis just nods. “Yeah, mate. It’s all crap at the moment.”

Luke grins, his cheeks going all pink at the mild swearing. “When do you get to see Harry again?”

“I don’t know, peanut. Soon, hopefully.”

“Do you love her?”

Louis nods immediately; sadly.

“I’m not sure I like Harry anymore.” Luke says quietly, like a confession.

Louis chuckles softly. “And why’s that?”

“Because she’s made you sad by leaving. I don’t like it that you’re sad. You keep on crying all the time, and mum said that it’s okay to cry when we’re hurt, so that means that somewhere in your body Harry has hurt you. I think you have a broken heart, Lou. Because of Harry.”

Louis doesn’t realise she’s crying again until a droplet tickles her chin as it curls around her jaw and falls away. “She hasn’t hurt me, peanut. I’m just sad ‘cause I miss her but it’ll get better. I’ll be okay in a few days once I get used to it.”

“I’ve made you sad too, now,” Luke frowns heavily, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m sorry, Lou-Lou.”

“I’m fine Lukey, honestly.” Louis reassures him, wiping her eyes and plastering on her best fake smile. “I cry all the time, you know that.”

Then Jay appears in the doorway giving Luke a wide-eyed stare. “Peanut, what did I tell you? Give Lou some space!”

“S’alright, mum,” Louis waves her hand. “He’s not bothering me.”

Luke scampers away anyway, giving Louis a cheeky grin as he departs. Her mum checks on her, offering her a tilted-head-sympathetic-eyes smile. Louis reassures her, probably unconvincingly, that she’s fine, and then the door closes and Louis is back to her own company again.

 

♀♀

 

Louis is going to see Niall before she leaves tomorrow. She’s promised Harry she will still go, even though she feels like just lying in bed for the rest of the day. At two o’clock she gets back up, changes into Harry’s Ramones t-shirt and wipes under her puffy eyes with a makeup wipe before heading downstairs.

“I’m off to Niall’s,” She announces to her mum in the kitchen. “I won’t be late. Back by about six, okay?”

“All right, babe,” Jay agrees. “Pasta bake for tea at seven, okay? And are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

“Yes mum, I’ll be fine,” Louis says. She will be fine; she’s not fine at the moment, but she will be, so it’s not really a lie. “See you later on, okay?”

“Love you, Loubear.”

“Love you too, mum.”

 

♀♀

 

“Hiya,” Niall greets her softly, her eyes slightly bleary; the only physical evidence of her hangover. “Wanna sit outside? My rooms empty now, it’s kinda depressing.”

Louis nods. She’s seen enough empty bedrooms to last her a lifetime; one more might send her over the edge.

Niall’s mum is in the living room as they traipse through, she gives Louis the same sympathetic look that everyone has been giving her, and Louis just smiles politely. There seems to be no evidence left of the destruction they caused last night with their party, and Louis is mildly impressed with Niall.

It’s a just about comfortable enough temperature to sit out in, without the need for the outdoor heater that Louis remembers being dragged outside last night.

They launch right into the two biggest revelations of last night; Perrie and Zayn and Niall and Elliot. Niall says she isn’t really that surprised, that she always thought Zayn might ‘bat for both teams’, and that her main concern is the fact that her secret ‘fling’ with Elliot was overshadowed by Perrie and Zayn.

“They did seem sweet together,” Louis contributes. “I’m sure they’d make a sweet couple. Together. In Newcastle.”

“Not jealous at all are ya?” Niall asks with a snort and a cheeky grin, and Louis just smiles sadly. “What about me and Elliot? I’m sorta in the same boat as you, but not really ‘cause I don’t even know where I stand. I’m goin’ tomorrow and I don’t know if there’s really something there between us or if it was just a quick thing of convenience.”

“Do you like him?”

Niall pauses for a moment, a quizzical look on her face before she nods, closing her eyes. “Yeah, he’s pretty cool.”

Louis takes stock of this. Niall has never been this candid before; she’s always loud, brash, insensitive. Brilliant for advice and the fiercest friend you could ever ask for, but Louis can’t really remember her ever showing her hand like this before.

“How long?”

“Me and Elliot?” Niall blows her cheeks out like she’s trying to remember. “After Liam’s birthday? Yeah, after that he added me on Facebook and then we swapped numbers. Dead romantic, like.” She giggles. “I don’t know if I’m, just a half-decent shag to him or whether there’s actually something there worth fighting for. I sorta wish I had someone who loved me like you love Harry and Harry loves you, then I’d know for sure where I stood.”

Louis hadn’t thought about it like that. Niall’s words take her by surprise, and her blonde haired friend just smiles back at her, shaking her head.

“Bet you didn’t think I had something like that in me, eh?” Niall cackles. “I’m not as green as I am cabbage looking, young Tomlinson.”

“One, I’m older than you, and two, stop talkin’ like a grandma!” Louis exclaims, extending her leg out and prodding Niall’s thigh with her toe. “But seriously, you don’t wish you were me right now. I hate this.”

“Harry adores you, Lou, for _some_ reason,” She pauses and wiggles her eyebrows playfully as Louis pouts. “You two are gonna be ridiculously disgustingly soppy and go and visit each other every weekend and send each other letters on fancy lined paper that you’ll keep until you’re eighty and then they’ll be put on display in some LGBT museum, the last known artefacts of _‘The Greatest Lesbian Relationship of the 21_ _st_ _Century’.”_

Louis snorts. She knows Niall is being facetious but she actually wouldn’t mind something like that.

“God, you like that idea, don’t you!” Niall exclaims, shaking her head as she laughs. She brings her feet up to rest on the edge of her chair; her small body compacted down so her knees are under her chin. She rests her head on the edge of the back of her chair. “See? This is why I wish I was you. Or Harry. No, you, Harry’s knees are too knobbly.”

 _Oi, that’s my girlfriend you’re insulting_ , is what Louis is supposed to say, but she just nods in agreement and Niall laughs again. They talk for a bit longer; Niall is ready for uni down south in Plymouth.

“I’m well up for it, mate, bring it the fuck on that’s what I say!” She says in her best Southern English accent.

“Don’t go cheating on Corrie with EastEnders, don’t forget your roots!” Louis wails dramatically.

“My roots aren’t even _with_ Coronation Street, you div!” Niall objects loudly. “More like Fair City!”

“I have no idea what that is.” Louis shakes her head.

“It’s like the Irish version of EastEnders, dead popular,” Niall explains, rolling her eyes. “I won’t explain it ‘cause they don’t show it on English telly.”

“Hmm,” Louis shrugs, not too concerned that she might be missing out on discovering her new favourite TV show. “That’s okay, I believe you.”

Niall grins and then reaches forward for her phone as it pings and vibrates. “Aw look,” She says, holding out her phone.

Zayn and Perrie have made themselves Instagram official; Perrie has her arm around Zayn’s shoulders and their fingers are slotted together as Perrie smiles broadly and Zayn burrows into her side, hiding the biggest grin behind her other hand.

“Aw, do you have Zayn’s notifications on? That’s cute.” Louis grins, poking her tongue out as she leans over to look at the photo. She gazes at it until Niall’s screen goes dim. “Aw, they’re very cute. I’m happy for them. Still not jealous, at all.”

Niall chuckles and puts her phone down on the table top. “Nope, neither am I.”

Soon enough, too quickly for Louis’ liking, their time together draws to a close. They’ve taken a load of pictures together and Niall has sent them over to her. Despite how they’re feeling inside, they look happy in the photos. Louis will always know what was going on as they were taken though; they’ll always be slightly tainted.

“Come here, you big beautiful gay,” Niall says, standing up and holding her arms out. Louis slips out of her seat and into Niall’s arms with watery eyes and a weak smile. “Gonna miss you, mate.”

“I’ll miss you too, Nialler,” Louis mumbles into her friend’s long blonde hair. “Loads. My life is gonna be so boring now.”

Louis hears Niall laughs softly. They’re still hugging, gripping each other tightly and swaying back and forth on the spot. Louis thinks that if she stays here for long enough, the smell and feel of her best friend will become permanently etched in her brain and then she won’t be quite so alone come the morning.

“Nah, it won’t,” Niall assures her. “You’ll find new friends, grownup friends that’ll make you wonder what the hell you were ever doin’ with us weirdos.”

Louis knows that’s not true. “I doubt it. I’m just gonna go into hiding until December holidays when you lot come back to me.”

“I’ll keep in touch. I’ll text you every day ‘til you get sick of me. I wanna know everythin’ that’s going on here. Keep me in the gossip loop.” Niall demands as they finally separate.

Louis scoffs. “I think you lot are gonna be the ones with the gossip not me. But I will keep in touch, obviously.”

“Maybe you could come down south once I’m settled and we can have a night out. London, imagine that! I bet it’s wicked, there’ll be an ace gay scene for you and Haz, too, I bet.”

Louis’ mind swims at the prospect. “Yeah, maybe. That’ll be cool.”

“At Christmas, we should all do something wild like, dye our hair or get a tattoo or get something pierced maybe!” Niall dreams up, her eyes sparkling with joy. “You think they’d be down for that?”

“Would _you_ be down for that?” Louis counters, remembering Niall’s longstanding aversion to needles and pain. “Tattoos hurt, Niall.”

“I know!” Niall cries defensively. “I said _maybe_ , didn’t I?!”

Louis giggles. That’s otherwise known as no in Niall’s vocabulary. “Well, you’ve got three months to make up your mind.”

Three months. Three months until they all see each other face to face again. It seems like a lifetime but it also feels, for the first time, like it’s attainable. Ninety short days; late summer will fade into early autumn, the world will slowly turn yellow and orange and then it will be bare, barren and cold.

“Three months,” Niall echoes, pulling Louis in for another hug. They’re at the front door now. Louis has hugged Niall’s mum and said goodbye to her too. “It’s not long, hey? You’ll be grand here, bird.”

“Yeah, I know,” Louis says, but she doesn’t quite believe it yet. “I’ll be all right. Good luck tomorrow, I hope uni is amazing.”

She knows Niall will make her experience the best she possibly can, it’s just the type of person she is. No one could dislike Niall, it’s just her personality.

“I’ll do me best,” Niall promises. “Love ya, Tommo!”

“Love you too, Nialler.” They hug one last time before Louis sets off towards the pavement. She turns back around once she gets to the junction of the path and the garden. “Bye, mate! See you soon!”

 

♀♀

 

Louis doesn’t cry on the way home or when she gets home. She feels strangely at peace. Three months isn’t that long to wait. Niall had made saying goodbye easy; she was happy-go-lucky and easy-going about it. She’d made Louis feel like there was nothing to worry about.

Granted, it hadn’t been as hard for her to say goodbye to Niall as it had been to say goodbye to Harry, but it was still emotionally draining.

“Hi love, how did it go?” Jay asks when Louis arrives home and heads straight for the kitchen.

She takes a seat at the dinner table and nods, dropping her chin into her hand. “Yeah, was fine. She’s always so happy and positive, it’s hard not to be too.”

“That’s good,” Jay smiles. “She’s a lovely girl.”

Louis nods in agreement, pushing aside her emotional wobble before it can consume her. A bit more loudly, precariously than she’d like, she asks, “Where’s my tea, Johannah, I’m starving!”

 

♀♀

 

Louis somehow makes it through tea, though she’s desperate to get her phone in her hands and contact Harry by whichever means is quickest. She needs to know what’s going on; she knows Harry will’ve been a state after Anne and Des left.

“Go on,” Jay says, interrupting Louis’ thoughts and smiling as she nods almost imperceptibly towards the door. “Go on upstairs and ring her.”

Louis smiles gratefully and leaps up. “Thanks for tea mum, was delicious.” She’s barely touched it, but nobody points that out.

Louis races up the stairs as fast as her feet will carry her.  She dives onto her bed and grabs her phone from the floor where it’s charging. 87% percent battery and waiting for her, delivered only ten minutes ago, is a short and simple message from Harry.

♥ **H:** _I miss you. I love you._

As if she just knew, an incoming call from Harry comes immediately as Louis unlocks her screen. Her face fills Louis’ phone screen as she watches it ring; her beautiful Harry in blue and white stripes, smiling wide and just about to burst out laughing at something.

Louis hits the green button faster than anything she’s ever done before in her life. “Hi baby.”

She hears Harry’s breath hitch in her throat before she speaks. “Lou, I can’t do this.”

Tears spring up immediately behind Louis’ tired eyes. “Yes you can. Don’t be silly. You’re made for this, Harry.”

“I can’t,” Harry disagrees. “It’s too hard, I hate it.”

“What’s it like there?” Louis asks, ignoring Harry’s statement for her own benefit. “Are the people nice? Tell me what it’s like so far.”

“They seem okay,” Harry says eventually, sniffing purposefully. “My room is all right. Small. There’s no bath either, just showers. You’d hate it here.”

Louis rolls her eyes; it’s typical of Harry to think of something like that. “What else?”

“There’s nine of us in total,” Harry says after a brief period of contemplation. “Five girls, four boys. We’ve all got separate rooms, obviously. Everyone seems nice; I don’t really know anyone yet though, obviously. Can’t remember any of their names either.”

Harry whispers the last bit and that makes Louis laugh. They talk for almost an hour. Louis updates her on the latest ‘Zerrie’ development, talks about her visit to Niall, asks how the drive to Manchester was, what her view is like, when lectures start, about the fact that Harry’s roommates are trying to coerce everyone into going out drinking tonight.

“It’s already getting on for nine, it’s bed time not going out time!”

“Harry!” Louis exclaims, laughing. “Go out and be social and have fun. I am ordering you to have a good time.”

“It won’t be a good time without you,” Harry sulks.

“Yes it will,” Louis insists, though she feels a bit sick at the thought. “Go and socialise with your new flatmates. You need to get along with them; you’re stuck with ‘em for a while.”

Harry eventually says that she probably will go out with her new flatmates, at least just for a bit. They make three attempts at winding the conversation down, each time something else pops up and a new tangent is commenced. Finally, though, when Louis’ bladder can stand it no more, they have to say goodbye.

“Okay, I really have to go now, I’m busting for a wee. I’m gonna have a bath too.” Louis says. The crease of her elbow aches as she tries to straighten it up from being bent for so long.

“Okay, rub it in why don’t you?” Harry asks, laughing softly down the line. “So when will I speak to you next?”

“I’ll text you once I’m out the bath, Haz,” Louis replies. “Go out and have fun, please. Promise me?”

Harry harrumphs but eventually relents. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good girl, and I’ll talk to you again tomorrow. But if you wanna drunk text me later, I guess I wouldn’t mind that.”

Harry giggles. “I’m sure I’m not that sorta girl, Tomlinson!”

“Yeah, right!” Louis scoffs. “Look, I really gotta go or I’m gonna wet myself. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you, I miss you, I love you, love you, love you. Bye!”

“Bye baby,” Harry replies. “I love you too.”

 

♀♀

 

After her bath, Louis gets out and wraps herself up in her star-print dressing gown and sits for almost an hour letting her hair air dry messy and big. She has notifications galore from Harry; a sad selfie on Snap with four broken heart emojis, three Instagram comments and seven likes, and an iMessage saying she hates her for guilt tripping her into going out tonight.

Louis sends a selfie back, her face puffy and bare. She adds in a prawn emoji and sends a quick message, _‘this is the best I can offer’._

They text constantly as Harry claims she is getting ready to go out. Louis doesn’t quite believe her, but then Harry’s next message confirms that she wasn’t lying.

♥ **H:** _I’m ready to go now. Wish you were here. I won’t get too drunk. Talk to you soon xo_

Ten minutes later and Louis’ not sure why she was so keen for Harry to go out in the first place; she spends the whole evening worrying about her. She’s still awake at one fifteen when Harry sends her something rather unintelligible, and then forty two minutes later, another message comes through.

♥ **H:** _Hi im Lora I just wanted u to know Harry is home safe xx_

It’s followed by a picture message of Harry asleep on her bed; a magnolia wall, the corner of the window frame and the reassuringly familiar purpley-blue patterned duvet cover all captured in the shot.

_‘Thank you x’_

Louis replies, reassured by that, and she finally falls asleep somewhere between two and three am.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As I say every time, I love this verse. There is more to come, I love writing about this pair.
> 
> The fic post is [here](http://yourpricelessadvice.tumblr.com/post/174607185034/islands-34k-harrylouis-side-ships-girl) if you are interested at all in spreading the word for my little series. Much love to all Amy x


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